[vc_section][vc_row miscellaneous=”true” gaps=”remove-gap” remove_bottom=”remove-bottom”][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Parenting is arguably the biggest and toughest role a parent has chosen to undertake. Buchi Emecheta’s book ‘The Joys of Motherhood’, is an ironical representation of what motherhood entails.

There are definitely joys; moments with deep, over the moon ecstasy, but there are other moments filled with staggering challenges that make you want to curl up in bed and cry especially if you are mummying alone. That, however,  doesn’t mean it is impossible.

Many successful men and women today were raised by single moms and they turned out just fine, so there is every reason to believe you’d do just fine as a single mother too.

This doesn’t negate the fact that there are men who are also daddying alone and they deserve all the praise they can get for the awesome work they do. But can we honestly just address the elephant in the room which is the fact that there are very few single fathers who remain single for long.

The society has conditioned the man to look for help, even when he doesn’t, his Mother, Father, siblings, friends, heck, his whole clans try to “help” him find a companion. We cannot say this is true for single moms, we know that they are stigmatized and berated especially if the circumstance that led to single motherhood is less than ‘desirable’. This is why we are focusing on mothers.

Being a mother is hard and it wasn’t a subject I ever studied.

Ruby Wax

…And might I add, that its one you never graduate from. So, whether you are a single mother by choice or happenstance. We have put together tips to help you in your parenting journey.

DON’T NEGLECT YOURSELF

The thought of what the future holds can be overwhelming. Don’t let it weigh you down so much that you forget to take care of yourself. Always remember that you’re all your child has left. This means that you should care for yourself just as much as you’d care for your child. You can sacrifice for your child but don’t let it grind you to a halt or put you in situations where you are broken down, helpless and cannot take care of your child. Always ensure that you are physically, mentally, financially and emotionally able to be a parent. Where you may feel incapable, please ask for and receive help from those closest to you.

Before becoming a mom, I never knew how good I had it to just spend time at a spa for a few hours. Now, those days are far and between. So when I have an hour, it’s all about the mani and pedi.

Tia Mowry

LET GO OF FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY

Constantly reminding yourself of the things you can’t do alone won’t help you as a single mom. Being a parent now means that you have to wear big boots and make all the tough decisions. If the father is present and wants to be included then you can co-parent but if not YOU have to step up. If you keep seeing it as things you can’t do, you will never do them and you will become easily overwhelmed.

I am a single mom and I’m the breadwinner and I have to work and I have to do these things and that’s just the way it is. I don’t think my son even knows any different.    

Charisma Carpenter

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